Review: The Warrior's Way

Relativity Media

The real question about this movie (which doesn't need any explanation with this picture: cowboys vs. ninjas, the end), is WHY did I see it? Even more, WHY am I even writing a review for a movie no one is going to see except for two awkward businessmen sitting behind us? Because I can.

Which is the same reason why I saw it in the first place. It also seems to be the same reason the studio used to justify making such a movie. I can't imagine how the writer walked up to the producers with this script and they were like "great! this will be awesome!" It probably has something to do with the director having a name no one can pronounce (Sngmoo?). Therefore, it must be another "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". Like every other Asian-martial arts movie out there. But not every Asian-martial arts movie out there is shot entirely on green-screen.

Relativity Media

And here is where the questions start. Why does the sky look like a picture pasted over the background using Photoshop? Why is there a ferris wheel and an old carnival? Why do the cowboys look like the bad guys from Mad Max? How do the ninjas drop out of the sky? Why are ALL the characters so annoying? There's really no clear tone for this movie at all. One moment it's so silly you think "this HAS to be funny on purpose", but it really isn't funny, you just realize they're trying to be funny. You really don't care about any of the characters (even the love interest played by Kate Bosworth). Geoffrey Rush's drunk is really the only one you like. The main ninja, 'Skinny', ("The greatest swordsman in the world....ever", which is an actual line) you only kind of like because he's really good at killing people. Otherwise, he doesn't have any personality and hardly any lines. He might as well not be there. They should have just had a sword suspended in mid-air to play his part.

I did think some of the costumes for the bad-cowboys (lead by Danny Huston's 'the Colonel') were pretty cool even if they did look Mad Max-ish. And the ending was sort of fun to watch. But over all, I just kept asking myself: WHY? The whole thing is an aimless rambling with no real focus. But to tell you the truth, that's just about exactly what I expected. Did you actually think I'd go see this expecting anything less? Please.

I don't feel like saying anything more about this, so now it's time for 'The Tourist' review since I pulled a double-feature!