Review: One Direction: This is Us

TriStar Pictures

OK, so there is definitely a story behind this one. As I have hinted at in many of my reviews this Summer, I have had the wonderful convenience of seeing almost all of these movies for free, and that is all thanks to my friend Hannah (@HannahLovise on Twitter and DJ PunchHandz to her closest friends) who works at the local, giant Regal (she did, however, just recently give her two weeks which is sad for my free movie privileges). As payment for what amounts to probably around $100 in savings, she had one request: to see a movie that wasn't a "boy movie" (her words). I thought that Blue Jasmine counted as a not "boy movie," but apparently not enough. Thus, this is why you see the picture and the headline that you do. I had to see it, but I also had to review it. But wait! There's more to this story that heavily influenced my viewing experience and as a result this review: this is my and Hannah's journey.

A local Mexican restaurant favorite in Bellingham, WA, has an 11 AM - 5 PM happy hour, and wouldn't yah know it, but they have a location just across the street from the theater! So, naturally we decide to partake of such discounts. For seven hours before this I had been working at Starbucks where I had only had a smoothie and croissant of some sort to eat and like 5 shots of espresso, so I was going into this big mama margarita on basically an empty stomach and caffeine. After finishing it rather quickly interspersed with chips and salsa, I decided I wasn't feeling anything and went along with Hannah's decision to order another. Two sips into the second margarita and the first quickly begins to catch up. Let the giggling commence! We could hardly look at each other without laughing, and barely finishing our second drink, we left 5 minutes before the show started and walked (very briskly in the straightest line we could manage) over to the Regal to find an empty theater all to ourselves. And of course, we went for the 3D version. Therefore, we were seeing "1D in 3D" which just happens to sound like some sort of 3D porno. Whatever, we "let the margaritas speak," as Hannah said, and went with it.

TriStar Pictures

And let me tell you, the 3D is much more effective after consuming the right amount of alcohol. A lot of the concert footage had weird animated parts to them as well which was even more fun and caused much laughter. At the same time, the alcohol made the entire thing rather entrancing, but I kept coming out of such trances to laugh at the endless shots of teenage girls crying in the audience and the boy bands' inability to dance. Suffice it to say, the margaritas made everything much more enjoyable, bright, and entertaining. Still, I am going to do my best here to look through the haze of booze and take this movie as seriously as I possibly can before I run out of things to say.

TriStar Pictures

I don't have anything to compare this type of movie to since I haven't seen any documentary of a band's tour or whatever before, but it's basically footage of them all hanging out while on tour and talking about random things inter-spliced with flashy concert footage. There's nothing special or new about the way this is done that I could see. It's everything that you would expect. At the same time, anyone who's hoping to maybe learn something new about these guys isn't going to find out anything they couldn't look up on Wikipedia. It's all just them basically acting their age (like 20 I think is the average of the 5?) and being energetic kids who are obviously loving being as famous as they are, but not knowing what to do with it or how to act at the same time. 

It's actually sort of sad in a way because you know that, unless some miracle prevents them, most if not all of them are going to disappear into the dark, lonely, and drug fueled halls of teenage pop stardom with company like Amanda Bynes and the soon-to-crash-and-burn Justin Bieber. This may sound terribly sexist but at least female teenage stars have the option of turning on the whole slutty thing for popularity once they reach their mid 20's like Miley Cyrus, but guys don't really have other options besides becoming whiny ass-holes. Because these kids are only going to be able to maintain their pretty-boy style for so long before it becomes unbelievable and/or creepy. So in this respect, One Direction begs the question of the future.

Shame & Margaritas (by Hannah)

Otherwise, there really isn't anything more I can think to say...besides the fact that they have stupid tattoos. Seriously, I can't handle chest tattoos. Like the ones that are right in the middle or go all the way across. Nope. In the end, this movie is just a money-grab and attempt to create new fans, potentially. But really, I think if you already hate or feel indifferent towards this band, seeing this movie ain't going to change your mind. I still won't listen to them. I'd only heard like one of their songs on the radio before seeing this, and I only knew it was them because someone told me. But if you're really into these guys? Then sure, I guess you'll like the movie? I don't know, if I let the margarita speak it'd tell you to get wasted beforehand, but then I remember that if you're going to see this then you're most likely 15 and female, so that would be bad advice! Don't listen to me! Eat your vegetables and listen to your parents and all that stuff and have innocent (and not at all mildly terrifying) crushes on these boys and their hair, (shitty) tattoos, and skinny jeans.